How to Reconcile after Infidelity

 

Infidelity affects more marriages than you’d think. It’s not exclusively limited to men either; women cheat too. Infidelity can ruin relationships between spouses and also between parents and children. If you suspect that your spouse is cheating or find proof that is definitely the case, don’t panic. Here are several ways to reconcile after a cheating scandal:

Talk to Your Spouse

Before you call in the divorce lawyers, try talking to your spouse regarding the matter. By talking, you actually hold a conversation with your partner that does not include screaming, yelling, throwing things and making crazy accusations. Try to be as calm as you can, and question him or her regarding the situation. Make sure you have not misunderstood anything. Ask direct questions and don’t allow your spouse to lie to you.

Go to Therapy

As clichéd as it may sound, you will have to seek professional help to confront the cheating head on and make amends. A professional therapist will be able to point out the faults in your relationship, caused by both parties that may have led to this situation. Therapy is not easy. You will have to work at it to make amends and reconcile. Also, be prepared to attend many sessions. Some couple need relationship therapy for years, but even so, they do end up growing old happily together.

Hold an Intervention

If you have a family or friends that you and your spouse are close to and can confide in, call them to hold an intervention in case you don’t want to do this alone. With friends and family at your side, your reconciliation efforts will be more fruitful. They will be able to console you in case you need it, and advice you whether you should continue to make amends, or if you need to call divorce lawyers instead.

Deal with the Embarrassment

For some spouses affected by a partner’s cheating, it’s the embarrassment and the social humiliation that’s most difficult to bear. Now, if you want to make amends, you will have to deal with this humiliation issue upfront. Tell your spouse about it and talk to a therapist of your own. Remember that your family comes before whatever the neighbours are thinking. Do not give too much weight to other people’s opinions. It’s your life; you have the prerogative to live however you want to live without anyone’s judgement.

You raise yourself above your pride when you decide to reconcile with a cheating spouse. That’s an impressive achievement. For the rest, follow the tips above.